What does an emotionally resilient person look like?

Here’s a few characteristics that many resilient people have in common:


you are able to recognise and convey both your thoughts and feelings easily and know where they come from. This means you can empathise easily with others and know how you influence other people with your feelings.


your positive self-image, optimism and self-belief allows you to see good in people and situations and to know that you will pass through difficult times. You are able to forgive and accept yourself and others.


you neither overestimate or underestimate your abilities and have a good knowledge of your skills, talents and inner potential. You view an appropriate level vulnerability as a strength and hold an appropriately high levels of expectation for yourself and your life

Good relationships with others

you build good, supportive relationships with others and are not ashamed to ask for help and guidance when you feel the need. You have a strong sense of belonging to a community of people.

Eagerness to learn

you know that mistakes and adversity offer opportunities to teach you something about yourself and that this will strengthen you. You have a positive view to change and possess a positive mindset.

Emotional control

you regulate your emotions well so that you do not become overwhelmed. You look closely before you leap into anything and are emotionally flexible. You express your emotions in a socially appropriate manner and are happy to allow any negative emotions to exist. If conflict exists, you are keen to discuss things. You know that bad feelings do not last.


once you have a goal you are happy to work hard and with persistence and flexibility to complete it. However, you also have good judgement in knowing when to stop if your efforts are not working.


you possess an ability to laugh at both yourself and what you face in life.
are in charge – you know you are in control of your life your growth and your emotions. This means you look to neither blame or credit others for what happens to you and how you feel.


you have a sense of purpose in your life and feel with your view of ‘the bigger picture’.

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About the Author Nigel Lowson

I loved teaching and loved working in schools because I learnt so much from my colleagues and the students. They never failed to inspire me and make me laugh! My curiosity in what makes people tick moved me into pastoral care and I was privileged to be in charge of a school's pastoral care and co-curricular programmes for 18 years. Here I saw first-hand the pressures on both staff and students (and their parents) and learnt so much about human nature, especially under stress. My focus has always been on offering practical, easy, quick solutions that work which are supported by science.

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